I think i've realised something about why its important to open up to people. Its not just because its important to you, its because its important to them. When someone cares about you they need to feel that they're not helpless, that they can have some impact on your life. I used to think it was kinder to the other person not to offload my drama on to them, i didnt realise that by doing that i could hurt them and make them feel unnecessary. People need to feel needed.
So if i cant let people in to help myself, maybe i can do it to help the people that care about me. Because when someone has the misfortune to care about me, I should try to look after myself for them. Its the least they deserve.
Maybe one day I'll want to do it for me.
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