Look for the signs they say, you'll know when you're slipping again and then you can stop it. Can I? Do I have that strength. I saw it coming last time, but I didnt stop it. But I guess the difference was that I didnt see the point then, the point of getting better. There was nothing and no one to get better for. I wasnt enough. Maybe i'm becoming enough. Or at least i'm starting to see myself more that way. I'll fight to keep myself and what I am, maybe.
But then I felt better before, then I slipped a bit more at a time until I was so far gone I didnt know how to fix it....or how to want to. I feel better but how do I know it will stay this way? I dont want to be that far in the dark again, not ever. Its always there, creeping at the corner of my eye and the corner of my mind. Reminding me that when i have a weak moment, if I give up even for a moment...it will drag me down again. I want to be well and normal and walk amongst the living; live intensely in every moment. I'll fight to keep that. But i'm so tired, i've fought so much. I'm so tired.
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